My Jesus in Shining Armor...?

I have to admit, I have been struggling for the past week or so. Sometimes life is just hard for a mom...especially a stay-at-home mom who has 3 kids under four and is 19 weeks pregnant. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to throw a pity party and say "Boo-hoo my life is so hard and so bad" because it's really not. I have an awesome life that God has blessed immensely but there are times that each person struggles in their life no matter what they are going through. This past week and into this week was one of those times for me. I have been struggling trying to find time for myself, my husband, my kids, and my God. It seems like I always put God last. It's sad really. In our Small Group we recently finished a book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan. It really transformed my heart and taught me so many things. The basic idea of the book was that our lives and hearts should be so intertwined in Christ that we should have this CRAZY love for Him....that people would look at us and say that's CRAZY but you do whatever you are doing for Christ and sharing His love. Now we are reviewing it over the next few weeks to take a look back. I am telling you this could not come at a better time.
The question I have been asking myself for the past few days is "Do I want Him to rescue me?" One of my great friends reminded me the other day (all the while having struggles of her own) that one of the things Francis Chan said in Crazy Love was that we need to start praying for God to teach us "in" our struggles and not praying to get "out" of them. WOW! So significant! That is so hard for me but when I take that attitude it always seems like the load gets lighter and somehow easier to bare. Why? Because I know that Jesus is there...right beside me. I don't want Him to rescue me. If he did then I would never learn anything in life. I don't want Him to take me out of my struggles, no matter how simple or how difficult they may be. The idea of having Jesus come in on His white horse in shining armor is great but would it ever do me any real good? It's also not reality. If I really think hard about the suffering that not only other people are experiencing right now (especially in Haiti) but the immense suffering Christ went through for me, my "bad" week and a half really doesn't even stand in comparison.
I know I will have hard times ahead in my life and I am not saying that I am not aloud to feel how I truly feel because someone always has it worse off. I am also not saying the things I go through or the things that those close to me go through are by any means trivial, but I am saying we can learn through them and not run away from them. I know God has a plan for my life and the life of my husband and each one of my children. I fully trust Him and put all of our lives in His hands. I trust He has things for me to learn whether it be through the trials and tribulations of life or not. I also trust it will strengthen me to be a better child of God, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and woman.
These are just a few thought and ramblings from a broken woman but I am slowly being pieced back together by my Maker. Please don't judge me....God's not done with me yet! ;)